She also asked me to read a chapter of John each day - give or take. I am through 6 chapters and would say that it is telling me to believe without needing to see.
Community - Today I experienced Boise community in many ages/sizes and all elated in joy at a Hot Air Balloon Fest. I ran into a kind co-worker. I finished my August wild card with breakfast with a stranger at a Boise diner full of travelers and locals serving good eatin' kind o' fare. I'm reminded how because of my upbringing I can relate to many walks of life. I have an extended family who loves me dearly, a KC and Bmore friend family who I treasure, and am exploring how this will form out West.
Career - I am excited to try Expeditionary Learning as a teaching philosophy. I am excited to teach in this way. I am excited to try and make it more authentic, hands-on, and let the students guide the way more. My first project is community identity. We are studying their community comparing it to the community of 3 inner-city teenagers who made a promise to each other to becomes doctors and work thru the odds together. Finally, they will examine the Boise identity via a government document and people's perceptions and compare. I feel good to bring my roots of city life/challenges to them and allow them to explore their home. The final product will be a photographic display at the Sesqui-store honoring Boise's 150th under the theme "Boise Serves You".
Calling - Today was my first day with students. I really enjoyed being back in the classroom. I also enjoyed how these 7th/8th graders' character is noticeably influenced by their community-based/EL-type of education. They are a more present type of junior high student. I am struck that in this different environment of more affluent teenagers in economic terms, I feel a stronger connection with the students I have primarily taught with - the urban core, kids with grit, and kids who face challenges. I think my gut is strong. I am glad my gut is strong. I am reminded I have worked hard to come to these beliefs in my long career.
Companion - My dearest friend who I've known since birth got engaged last night. When I spoke with her, she beamed with joy. She spoke of her engagement and her love. Every moment of our discussion just exuded who she is. This made me the happiest, as she has found someone who makes her more her. This is what I want. And if my dearest friend found it at this age, perhaps I will, too. Wouldn't it just be delightful if I met someone who made me more me? and grow into my best me?
Character - Wow, how we define this as adults. I think my running as the character created by my family ran much longer than most who learn to shake those confinements earlier. I am blessed to carry my family's character of hard-workers, talkers/storytellers, dancers, rooted folk, and family lovers and supporters. But as an adult my character has grown into one who believes deeply in being a part of your community, whose brain operates as a sociologist and anthropologist, who works hard to make a life that is around challenges, differences, and bridging holes in relationships, and who works hard to build relationships of affection. Today my Twenter character traits of hard-working and storytelling were apparent. And also my belief in deeply being a part of a community, and who is working to understand how I can step into showing that affection again.
Community - I was thankful to find a woman to have dinner with in Boise who has spent some time in Marfa, TX. It's a small world after all.
Calling - Open Book is the title so here we go. I went to a very unusual yoga class today and tonight I went to see the movie Spectacular Now, both resonated with me a great deal. During this yoga class that had a long meditation period, I began crying - for the pain I feel of a hurt heart, for the students I have lost to an early death or beatings, and some pains that I didn't realize effected me so much. I am more deeply hurt than I want to admit that when BCPSS told to tell me "We won't fire you this year" as I looked to buy a house in Baltimore that I was so upset for all I had given to be treated this way, and that my KC principal chose to give my job to another and move my position without consent. Essentially, he was telling me I was a bad teacher. And yes there are circumstances to understand this and yes moving on is the best, but I think this and a few other events have led me to rebuild walls largely around my heart. To not trust. To not love. And I don't want to do that anymore. I no longer want to live in fear. I want to love. I want to listen to my feelings. Since I was young, my parents told me my feelings were "ridiculous". I hate that word now. So yes, I am hurt by those two incidents and a few others of dear friends breaking my trust and my love. And yes, I truly believe that Brooklyn was the right choice for me and that only fear and an inability to trust the love of my friends kept me from going. Those are my feelings and I need to share them. And through this all, I still feel called to return to the work of educating kids in disadvantaged situations who are struggling with barriers. I want to listen to those feelings. I want to try again. I want to trust again. To love.
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